Accountants are unjustly known as a dry breed. Outsiders to the profession don’t seem to know, but where numbers are concerned – and in the tax multiverse, they are concerned gravely – the potential for cerebral jokes is virtually infinite. Accounting jokes trivia
Therefore, behold: We’ve compiled the cleverest jokes and stories adored by bean counters the world over.
LITTLE BO BEEP CLAIMED HER LOST SHEEP (VIA LIFEHEALTHPRO.COM)
An accountant is reading nursery rhymes to her young child. When she is finished, she answers her son’s question: “No, son. When Little Bo Beep lost her sheep that wouldn’t be a tax deductible – but I like your thinking.”
TAX SPECIALIST ANDY NGUYEN HAS AN UPDATE ON LITTLE BO PEEP AND TRADING STOCK
If Little Bo Peep is an Australian tax resident, running a business and the sheep is trading stock – she would probably be able to claim a deduction for her lost sheep under s70-50 ITAA97 – valuation of trading stock that has become obsoleteThere are special rules if she was insured and received compensation for that lost sheep – s70-115 ITAA97If her sheep has a lamb – she can rely on s70-55 ITAA97 in working out the cost of the natural increase in livestock.
ACCOUNTANTS AS FASHION PLATES (VIA STRANGEACCOUNTINGFACTS)
Matthaeus Schwarz was a 16th Century German accountant who published the first book on fashion. He documented all the outfits he wore over 63 years in watercolour prints. Unsurprisingly, he was reportedly known to be quite vain and his fashion sense earned him nobility in 1541.
POLLY WANT A CREDIT?
An accountant goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner shows him three parrots on a perch and says, “The parrot on the left costs $500.” “Why does that parrot cost so much?” asks the accountant. “Well,” replies the owner, “it knows how to do complex audits.” “How much does the middle parrot cost?” asks the accountant. “That one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the first one can do, plus it knows how to prepare financial forecasts.” The startled accountant asks about the third parrot, to be told it costs $4,000. Needless to say, this begs the question, “What can it do?” to which the owner replies “To be honest, I’ve never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner.”
MISS USA IRS
Erin Brady, winner of the 2013 Miss USA pageant, was an accountant. From Connecticut, Brady reportedly has a degree with a finance major from Central Connecticut State University.
THE GOOD SHEPHERD AUDITS HIS SHEEP
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night,” he says. “Have you tried counting sheep?” inquires the doctor. “That’s the problem — I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”
TEN…TRILLION…DOLLARS
The British museum has an exhibit dedicated to money. This would be quite uninspiring if not for a curatorial submission from the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe to the effect of one hundred trillion dollars. Yes, that’s right. 100 trillion. $100,000,000,000,000.
“LION TAMING!”
Cleese and Palin need no introduction.
#[funny], [humour], [jokes], [laugh out loud]
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